What Kind of Student Is Your Pet? A 6 Question Quiz

Every pet has a school personality. You already know what yours is, you have just never had to say it out loud in front of anybody.

The quiz: what kind of student is your pet?

1. The school bus pulls up outside. Your pet:

• A. Sits up straight and watches it go, like a professional seeing off a colleague.
• B. Opens one eye. Registers the bus. Closes the eye.
• C. Barks at it. Every single day. It has never once worked and they have never once considered stopping.

2. There is one sock missing from the laundry. Where is it?

• A. Nowhere. Your pet does not do that. Check the dryer.
• B. In their bed. Undamaged. Arranged. A keepsake, not a victim.
• C. In four pieces, across three rooms, and one piece is outside somehow.

3. A stranger knocks on the door.

• A. Formal greeting, then supervision from a respectful middle distance.
• B. Observes from a high shelf or behind a chair leg. Will decide about you in nine days.
• C. Full body celebration. No notes. This is the best thing that has ever happened.

4. You point a phone at them.

• A. Holds a pose. Genuinely holds it. Waits for you to finish.
• B. Turns their head away at the exact frame you press the shutter. Every time. It is not an accident.
• C. Comes directly at the lens. You now have forty photographs of a nose.

5. Their response to a closed door:

• A. Waits outside it. Patient. Faintly disappointed in you.
• B. Sits nearby and sighs at a volume you are clearly meant to hear.
• C. Paws under the gap. Immediately. Both of them. Fast.

6. It is 3pm on a school day. Your pet is:

• A. In the same spot as at 8am, upright, keeping watch over an empty house.
• B. Asleep somewhere warm, in a patch of sun that moved an hour ago.
• C. Awake, in trouble, mid project. You will find out what at 5pm.

Count your letters

Whichever you picked most is your verdict.

Mostly A: the Honor Student

Your pet has a sense of occasion. They sit when photographed. They supervise. If they could hold a clipboard they would already be holding one, and they would have opinions about the schedule.

The thing nobody tells you about living with an easy animal is that you stop noticing how unusual it is. Other people's dogs do not wait at the curb. Other people's cats do not greet guests. Yours is the one visitors comment on, and you have started saying "oh, she has always been like that" as though that is normal. It is not. It is lovely.

Mostly B: the Quiet Genius

Your pet is not shy. Your pet is selective. They have assessed the room, formed a complete opinion, and elected not to share it. They have a preferred chair and a schedule, and both are non negotiable.

You are also almost certainly the person they chose. Animals like this are not equally quiet with everybody. They are quiet because they are watching, and they stay relaxed enough to keep watching because you are in the room. The whole household knows whose lap is the correct lap, and it is not up for discussion.

Mostly C: the One With a File

Everyone at the vet knows your pet's name. So does the mail carrier, both neighbors, and one person you have never met who waves at them specifically.

Here is the honest version: this is the hardest one to live with and by far the funniest one to have. Nothing is ever boring. You have told the same three stories at every dinner party for two years and people still ask for them. Your pet is not badly behaved, they are enthusiastic, and the paperwork is a side effect of a personality that large. You would not swap them, and everybody knows it.

What if you tied?

Very common, and not a flaw in the quiz. Most pets are two types wearing a trench coat.

• A and B. A dignified animal with a secret. Lean A, because the formality is the funnier half.
• B and C. Quiet for six hours, then one spectacular incident. Lean C, every time. That is the story worth telling.
• A and C. Takes the rules very seriously and breaks them anyway. A genuinely great combination and a real category.
• An even three way tie. Pick whichever made you laugh hardest. That is the correct method here.

Now the part where I show you the artwork

The reason this quiz has three results and not five is that we made three Back to School designs, and each one is a straight match for a type. That was not a coincidence, it is where the whole collection came from. Every piece is made from one photo of your own pet.

Honor Student, meet The High School Photo

Argyle vest, studio lighting, and the posture of somebody who has been told to hold still and fully intends to do it properly. It is the only one of the three that also comes as framed wall art, which is right, because this is the pet who has earned a frame.

Quiet Genius, meet The Student Watercolor

Round glasses, soft brush edges, and a very slightly superior expression. It is the only one that comes as a phone case, which is the correct format for a pet who is quietly with you all day whether you noticed or not.

One With a File, meet The Homework Eaten

A guilty face, a chewed worksheet, and zero remorse. There is no subtext here. It is the one kids want their friends to see, and the one teachers buy for themselves after hearing the excuse for the eleventh time.

Two pets, two types

If your household contains an honor student and a defendant, do not average them. That is how you end up with two pieces nobody feels strongly about. Order each pet their own design in the same product and let the pairing be the joke. Two $25 notebooks side by side does more work than one compromise, and it settles permanently whose notebook is whose.

Frequently asked questions